Sadity Esq

Lessons from Son that Shape my Parenting and my Profession.

As a parent and professional, balancing the demands of work and nurturing my children often feels like a high-wire act. Yet, my oldest son—my second child—has been a great teacher in learning to parent with patience and kindness. He’s taught me that parenting isn’t about molding our children to fit a preconceived ideal; it’s about adapting ourselves to understand and embrace who they are.

My journey with him has been anything but easy. As a baby, he suffered from severe eczema, reflux, and other issues that left him in constant discomfort, often undiagnosed. He was a sensitive baby who seemed to cry endlessly. I remember days spent holding him close, baby-wearing everywhere I went, and nights with him snuggled against me as we both tried to find rest. Showers were our sanctuary, sometimes lasting 40 minutes to an hour, as the water soothed his skin and calmed his cries. Despite the exhaustion, I loved him fiercely, knowing that, above all else, he needed me.

In those early days, his sensitivity and need for constant closeness were isolating. I couldn’t find or keep a sitter, and outings became a rarity. He wasn’t the smiley, easy-going baby you might expect. Instead, he was cautious around strangers, preferring only my presence and, occasionally tolerating his father’s. Even as he grew older, he often reacted with intense emotions—tantrums, sudden bouts of tears, and a profound attachment to routine and familiarity. But with all his sensitivities, he possessed a deep tenderness that would, in time, shape him—and me.

At times, it felt as though the world was too quick to judge him and our bond. Friends, family, even strangers would comment on my approach to parenting him, often suggesting that I was “coddling” him or “letting him get away with too much.” But I knew he needed more understanding, not strict discipline or harsh corrections. It wasn’t about allowing poor behavior; it was about recognizing that his behavior stemmed from a place of need. Over time, he taught me that empathy, not control, is often the answer.

This lesson was particularly meaningful when our family grew with the arrival of our third child. My son, who had always clung to me, transformed the moment he met his baby brother. He was captivated. The little one was no longer just “mommy’s belly,” but a real, live baby in my arms. His innate tenderness blossomed, and he became an instant guardian, refusing to leave his brother’s side.

I’ll never forget one evening when his younger brother, now a rambunctious toddler, was throwing food, climbing on the table, and hitting his siblings. Exhausted, I’d lost my patience and scolded him. My older son looked at me quietly and said, “Mommy, I don’t like it when you make my brother cry.” Surprised, I explained that his brother was misbehaving and that I was infact defending him by scolding his brother. I reasoned that I couldn’t let him get away with being mean, I had to teach him that there were consequences for being mean to his siblings. But my boy softly reminded me, “Yes, but he’s a baby. We have to teach him to be nice.” Then, with an insight beyond his years, he added, “Besides, he just misses Daddy.” My husband, who my third son tended to follow and cling to the most, was often working late at this time.

In that moment, I was humbled. Here was my young son—my former “difficult” child—gently guiding me to see past the frustration and into the heart of the matter. I realized he was showing me what it truly means to lead with compassion. Over and over, he has reminded me that our role as parents is not only to correct behavior but to nurture understanding. When I’m tempted to react, I remember his words and think instead about what my children need to learn, not just what they need to stop doing.

As my son grows, he has surprised me at every turn. The child who once cried at the mere sight of a stranger is now the boy whose classmates and teachers adore him. He is the advocate for his siblings, defending them even when they test his patience. Just the other day, he told me about a classmate who often struggles with behavior in school. Rather than retaliate when this classmate acted out, my son gently reminded him about the consequences of his actions and even offered to help him earn behavior tickets. When I asked him why he was so kind to someone who has been less than friendly towards him, his answer stunned me: “You don’t have to be mean to stand up for yourself. If I help him, maybe he won’t be so angry.”

As a professional, I see the value of his perspective everywhere. In the workplace, misunderstandings and miscommunications are often met with frustration or blame. My son’s approach reminds me that understanding the root cause can be far more productive than simply reacting to the symptoms. His patience and empathy have taught me to look deeper, both in my career and my parenting.

In a world that often demands quick fixes and immediate results, parenting him has been a reminder that growth isn’t linear. Children, like all of us, go through seasons. What appears as defiance or resistance may simply be an unspoken need or a struggle for self-expression. And as parents, it’s up to us to see beyond the behavior and connect with the child within.

Raising my son is teaching me that our children aren’t a reflection of our failures or successes; they are individuals finding their way. Through his journey from a sensitive, often difficult baby to a kind and empathetic young boy, he’s shown me the power of patience, the importance of understanding, and, most importantly, that children are constantly growing and changing.

My children have become my greatest teachers. They’ve taught me that parenting is less about discipline and more about guidance, less about control and more about understanding. And every day, through their needs, their quirks, and their endless potential, they show me how to be a better parent, a better professional, and, ultimately, a better person.